And Now the Tables Have Turned
by Conterra-san
Summary: Matsumoto suddenly finds herself a bit lost after Hitsugaya has a new reaction to one of her infamous hugs. And when had he gotten so tall, anyway? First-person Matsumoto, HitsuMatsu.
1. And Now the Tables Have Turned

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the only bleach I own is the stuff I occasionally throw in the washer.

**Chapter 1**

**And Now the Tables Have Turned**

First, I would like to say that I am not entirely positive how I got into this predicament.

Those who know me know I'm a partier, maybe a troublemaker, a matchmaker, a hopeless romantic (shh!), unbelievably bold, and probably one of the laziest hard-working people around. However, they also know that underneath all of that, I'm incredibly, incredibly insecure. The only man I've been with was Gin. There is no way I could have gone behind his back to do anything, even when we weren't that close recently. How was I supposed to deny one of the most beautiful and frightening men in the whole of Seireitei? How was I supposed to unclasp my heart from my savior's grip?

So I'm insecure. I hope everyone gets this. I hate talking about it, but it's true, and although I've mainly gotten over it, one of the reasons is because I can't understand why Gin would just leave me like that. Because. . .I didn't matter, I wasn't good enough. . .or something.

I don't know.

So, obviously, I've been down a little since Gin left. Truth be told, I was mainly over him before he left, but those last clinging—it was the final stab. I don't know, I don't _know_.

I think I'm ok about Gin now. Actually I _know_ I'm ok about that, the one thing I do know. It doesn't mean that I can do some things without feeling pain, or that I'm happy all the time. I still get flashes, but I cover them pretty well, I think.

At least, that's what I _thought_. Gah, I wish life wasn't so damn confusing!

Let me start more towards the beginning. I'd like to establish some facts. I've already established the first; I'm insecure, especially when it comes to men. Ask Shuuei or Kira if they've ever kissed me.

They haven't.

Second. I always go for guys taller than me.

Third. I love teasing my taichō. Great fun, let me tell you. He's kinda like my little brother.

Fourth. I would die for my taichō or anyone else in my division. My responsibility.

Fifth. I do not spend six hours on my hair every morning. Neither do I spend more than five minutes on my make up. I have faults, being slightly vain is one of them, but aren't all girls slightly vain? And I spend no more than a half hour on my hair. I say this because people ask. All the time.

Sixth. In the end, I think I would never, ever get drunk on purpose while with my taichō. I just wouldn't. It is unbelievable how easily I can fool people into thinking I am wasted when I am merely tipsy. I don't want to do anything _too_ stupid in front of him.

Seventh. I stall when I'm trying to say things that could be life-changing or devastatingly important. Can you tell?

You see, I don't know what to do because I was just thrust into a situation totally beyond my control. No, really, totally beyond my control.

I've been accosted by Hitsugaya Toshirō.

I can hear you protesting already: he's short and he's like my brother.

Well, that's the problem. He had a growth spurt, and he finally grew up, and now I don't know what is going on. At all.

See this all happened today when I turned around to give him one of my bear hugs and he crushed me to his chest instead, and, I am exceedingly embarrassed to say, I fit just under his chin. Seriously, who would have thought? I'm furious. Downright furious.

See I hadn't hugged him in a while because I had been stationed in Karakura and then he had gone on some sort of break-neck scouting mission in Hueco Mundo. Honestly, I don't think I saw him for at least six months. Quite enough time for a legitimate growth spurt.

And let me tell you, it was more than legitimate.

I almost wish that I had been absolutely wrong when I had said that he was going to grow up into one sexy beast, because then I wouldn't be so confused, but if I would have been wrong I wouldn't have that gorgeous specimen of male beauty to stare at all day long.

So back to our hug.

See, it was totally innocent. I wasn't really thinking. I mean obviously I knew he was taller, he's just the kind of tall that you don't realize until you are right next to him and suddenly it is like, BAM. Damn, Hitsugaya-taichō, you are TALL.

But then he crushed me against him, and it was like my mind had frozen in the icy breath of Hyourinmaru, a beast I cannot contend with, but my senses were heightened in a way I only remember with Gin, back _before_. I could feel one hand traveling up, the other down my back, gently rubbing before switching directions. I could smell this scent that I've never noticed before, a breathtaking blend of something distinctly mountain-airish and something clean, like snow, but more a vanilla flavor, and something distinctly _man_, I almost think it _had_ to be cologne, but when on earth did my taichō start wearing cologne?! I could hear his heart beat against my head like a hammer, faster than it should have been, and his slow and steady breathing. I could see nothing but his black and white uniform and when I closed my eyes, I saw his face.

In seconds, my world became Hitsugaya Toshirō. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't think beyond the sudden yearning of my paralyzed body as it attempted to strain past the spell this young man had woven about me.

I had two options. I never really thought of my third option, which was to act like normal and geek out about how cute my taichō is—that just flew from my mind. My two options were run or to give into my body's instincts.

And everyone knows that instincts are much stronger than practically anything else. He was just so irresistible. . .so I buried a hand in his beautiful, silky hair and nuzzled myself right under his chin.

Have you ever tried to hug someone—really hug someone? If you are a girl, you will slip your arms around his waist and press yourself to his body, while a guy will enfold the girl in his arms, one arm around the waist, one around the shoulders. Guys tell me there is something that feels right when you hug certain girls, but if you are a girl you _fit_. If you hug someone like this, and his body is not aligned with yours, you can tell, you don't fit into his arms. It's true. I fit with more than one guy, and some others just don't fit me. Like Renji and Gin fit me, but Kira, Hisagi, and Shunsui don't. I was deeply surprised once to find that the Soutaichō fits me. See what I mean? Try it sometime. You will definitely fit with the person you are romantically inclined with, and other people _will just not fit_.

Taichō fit me.

It was wonderful. Sometimes I just hug Renji to get that feeling of belonging that I used to feel with Gin, but I don't feel anything else towards him and when I pull back I usually feel even worse.

With Taichō, I didn't just belong, a whole tide of emotions flowed over me, and it felt as though my knees would give out. It felt so damn _right_.

"You deserve someone better than Gin," he whispered, and I realized I had kind of spaced out just a little tiny itsy bit right before I had wanted to give him a hug. So I really hadn't covered that slip at all. And he knew. Hell, did he know. "Someone who will appreciate you for the amazing woman that you are."

Not that that did anything to alleviate my paralysis or sudden desire or sudden involuntary movements.

"You've actually been working hard, Matsumoto," he continued. I swear I could hear him laughing at me through all that frost. "You think I didn't notice?"

I opted for mumbling something incoherent, too fascinated by the silk of his hair and the strength of his body to actually form words.

"Take a break, Matsumoto, and go back to your quarters. You always feel better after one of your impromptu naps."

"I'm not tired," I mumbled, but that was a lie, the usual nightmare had kept me up all night, worse, actually, than any other night this week. While my mind can largely avoid Gin while I am conscious, nothing can stop the memories, the friend and lover, from playing against my eyelids when I lose my grip on wakefulness and sanity.

A hand squeezed me lightly at the hip, and I nearly broke.

_This_ was certainly driving Gin from my mind. "Go to sleep, Matsumoto," he said softly, most of the ice melted from his voice. And I wanted to. Right damn there.

There was the strange displacement-nothingness-roaring of an expert and long-distance flash step, and we were in my quarters.

Bloody cad.

He laid me gently down on my bed, my head swimming in confusion coupled with exhaustion, and he kissed my cheek in this cute, innocent sort of way, but the smirk on his face was anything but cute or innocent when he pulled away.

If I hadn't been so tired I would have said something witty, or scathing, or teasing, or _something_, at least, but instead I just sort of looked at him, probably bemusedly. I also might have done something else equally stupid, like touched my cheek with my fingers, or some nonsense like that. Like I might have gaped like a fish at him because this apparently wasn't a dream.

"Sleep well, Rangiku."

And by the gates of Seireitei, now I just want to punch him for screwing up my perfect little image of him and throwing me into something that has upturned my life, something I cannot, and possibly will never, understand.

This new dynamic between the ice-cold captain of the Tenth Division and his slightly wayward fukataichō.

A/N: I am considering following this up with a new chapter. I think I shall.

I wanted to capture the moment I wish would come when Matsumoto notices Hitsugaya for the first time XD

I know I haven't written anything in a while, so I also wanted to get my creative juices flowing again!

Requests? Questions? Suggestions? Let me know!

Love to my readers

~Conterra-hime


	2. Why I Hate Life by Matsumoto Rangiku

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the only bleach I own is the stuff I occasionally throw in the washer.

WARNING: A little AU in that this doesn't exactly follow the time-line and is set approximately a year after the end of the Soul Society Arc. Otherwise true to the manga.

**Chapter 2**

**Why I Hate Life:**

**by Matsumoto Rangiku**

Can I please just say that it totally got worse, like, fifteen minutes ago? Taichō's ridiculousness, I mean.

But first, I think there is a bit of explaining in order. While I was rambling and all caught up in a tizzy (I haven't used that word in a while, it's lovely, don't you think?) I'm not sure how clear I was on anything besides the actual incident. And by incident I do not mean The Crusades ver. 2.0 Aizen or the Worlds War One or whatever it is you want to call it—the Aizen Incident, the Winter War, whatever whatever—nor do I mean Taichō not being around for a good six months, though I do suppose that was something of an incident, nor any ramifications of the Aizen Effect, i.e. The Betrayal of Gin.

There I go, stalling again.

I mean The Incident, the bit that started with the bear hug that wasn't a bear hug that would have been a typical trademark Matsumoto Rangiku bear hug if Taichō hadn't gone and GROWN.

So I am pretty sure I was undeniably, unequivocally, embarrassingly accurate in my explanation of The Incident. But I do know that it was a bit sudden, and came without warning.

If I had been paying any attention whatsoever, it wouldn't have been, but what is done, is done.

And in any case, I was caught completely by surprise, and that is all that matters. However, I also caught you be surprise, so I suppose that is what I am really trying to get at.

Basically, I didn't explain anything logically besides The Incident. And after my nap and reviewing my explanation—and thinking rather hard about a few small things that should have given me some clue to my Taichō's newly overwhelming presence, or even intentions—I have decided to run over some small details for you.

When Hitsugaya Toshiro reappeared in the Division Ten headquarters at precisely oh-three-hundred hours, I was supposed to be asleep. And I wasn't supposed to be expecting him. However, he had failed to realize, as exhausted as his overwhelmingly large brain must have been, that Shunsui, whose Third Seat had been with him, would notify me immediately upon his subordinate's—and therefore my captain's—return. And of course, Hitsugaya-taichō would be a bit longer than Shunsui's Third because it is protocol for captains to report directly to General Yamamoto upon returning to the Seireitei from outside missions. So I was waiting when he silently pushed open a door that had remained untouched for six long months—a door I refuse to use or let anybody else use when Hitsugaya-taichō is not in the office.

I had been dozing, which is how he somehow managed to avoid what would have been my instinctive bear hug. I opened my eyes to see him silhouetted in the doorframe, and before my tired body could react, he had already engulfed me in a brief embrace, filling the air around me with his icy presence.

He pulled back before I could be too shocked by his impulsive display of emotion.

That was my first, ignored, clue. I suppose I could say that my wits were dulled by encroaching tiredness and by the subtle numbness that accompanies Hitsugaya when he is merely irate or distracted enough to let his control slip. I assumed he was absolutely exhausted; there was really no other reason for me to be caught up in the easing chill wafting through the room. That would be a rather brilliant excuse for my denseness, but, seriously, I am an officer of the Gotei Thirteen, and I pride myself on knowing all the gossip there is to know in this world, and the one before. Practically. So, in all honesty, there really is no excuse for my lack of total awareness.

Damn Hitsugaya. Why is he so distracting? I feel all flustered around him and can't focus on anything important, and he's still as sharp as a tack, making me feel even more foolish.

So he pulled back, and I am just blinking up at him owlishly, trying to figure out what happened, and he has this sort of half grin on, and I'm a bit surprised because I don't remember his cheekbones being so prominent, or his face being so defined, or his hair so long, or his frame so lanky. I remember he said something like, "It's good to be back, Matsumoto. And good to see not much has changed."

I scoffed, telling him I did not sleep on this couch just for fun, and got up, stretching. We had a rather amiable, if somewhat formal conversation about his travels and our division, and then he said something a bit odd. Something along the lines of, "I missed you, Rangiku." And then with some hasty farewells, we both went to bed.

Yeah. . .alright, alright; this was so obvious that even that blockhead Hisagi probably could have seen it coming.

So, the next morning, the sun came up, as it has a habit of doing, and I woke up quite a bit afterwards, as I have a habit of doing. We are really good friends, the sun and I, we just keep slightly different schedules.

So I woke up, earlier than I had when Taichō had been running the division, and did my morning things (less than a half hour on hair and shower, less than five minutes on make-up), and arrived at the office on time, through the door I hadn't used in six months. Although I was alert, I was far from fully energized; nightmares and an inconsistent sleep schedule had kept me consistently dragging and near exhaustion for a while now. My normal peppiness wasn't AWOL, however; I can usually muster that unless I am beaten half to death.

I knew Taichō would be taking at least some of the morning off, and everyone was mandated to be at a memorial service in the afternoon. I spent the morning making sure the division was in perfect order (which it was) and throwing together an impromptu welcome home party together for that night. But anyway, the point is, he actually didn't come in to the office at all, not even after the memorial service, which I didn't expect, so I had to send a hell butterfly to fish him out of his quarters for the nicely modest affair at Shunsui's Division.

Now, on to the little, but now seemingly obvious, things that would have tipped me off if I had been more awake at said party, I mean, get-together.

I hid, rather effectively, I thought, because no one could really find me for at least an hour. I wanted some alone time, which I got. Then Nanao dragged me into a knot of other high-seated women (I wish there were more of us), and I socialized a bit. I was avoiding Taichō, not really, but I still wasn't sure how to react when I would have to talk to him because my hazy recollection of his maturity was slightly disturbing. Some of the conversation was as follows:

"Your taichō was asking for you." "Really?" (Why the hell would he be doing that?)

"I think your taichō really missed you." "Hnnnn." (No he didn't, go away.)

"Hitsugaya-taichō keeps looking over here, maybe you should go see what he wants." "Maybe later." (Bitch, you are completely wrong, shut the hell up.)

"He's definitely looking at you, Matsumoto, and why are you blushing?" "Ano, it is so warm in here!" (Who wouldn't blush if someone was paying too much attention to you?"

"Oh gods, Rangiku," Nanao finally hissed. "Now he's coming over here. Why didn't you just go surprise him earlier?" "Ano—"

Then Hitsugaya had dragged me from my comfortable knot and into the center of the hullabaloo. "To my beautiful fukataichō, Matsumoto Rangiku!" he shouted, and cheers surrounded me and reverberated of the walls to embrace me again. "For running the Tenth in my absence and being so dedicated to my division's wellbeing!" Glasses clicked, and alcohol was drunk, and shouts were once again heard in the hall. And I managed to get away before getting dragged further into the party. Which of course was not what I would usually do, but I was tired, confused, and still had more work to do if Taichō was going to be satisfied the next day with what I had done in his absence. So I left.

And of course completely ignored another strongly obvious indicator that everything had changed, I think because I was a bit stunned by the fact that Hitsugaya was _talking_ at a large event, and he was drinking alcohol, albeit not much, and my hazy recollection of his newfound maturity had been disturbingly less than accurate, and Gin had left me precisely a year ago, to the day.

That has been my best excuse by far. And you would not be mistaken if you accused me of throwing the party for Taichō so that no one would dwell too much on the idea of wannabe Superman (seriously, who else has used glasses as their only prop, and where the hell else did ex-Captain Five get the idea for that obnoxiously single curl?) and lackeys after the memorial service that we attended that afternoon.

This is the fifth day Hitsugaya has been back, and it took until today for the "everything has changed" thing to actually hit me, and hit me hard.

Also in my defense, I was tired (how many times have I used that excuse now?), a bit out of it (I think that was my excuse for everything that happened when I wasn't tired), and in denial (that was blazingly obvious, but I thought I would mention it anyway).

I've decided that denial is probably the most common human (or shinigami) emotion, but no one will ever be able to prove that due to the definition of denial.

There were obviously other little things which I see now in retrospect, such as Hitsugaya-taichō complimenting me subtly at least four times three days ago, leaving me a present on my desk (_To Matsumoto-fukataichō—thank you_, written on top of a box of earrings that he somehow knew I wanted), letting both Nanao and Nemu into that office at the same time (believe it or not, we are a disaster when in a room together), and putting off the long and tedious debriefing and reclamation meeting we were supposed to have the day after he got back until the next day and yesterday so that I could have a little more time to straighten things out.

Basically, I am blind. Gods, why me?

So back to what happened today. After The Incident, I did take my much needed nap, and then came back into the office around six to grab a few things and finish up my daily paperwork. Taichō was still there, which was to be expected, but what happened next was not. Approximately what was said:

Taichō: "Matsumoto, have you seen that sunset painting that used to hang behind my desk?"

Me: "Uh. . .you took it down, I think, Taichō."

Taichō: "I thought I might have. . .we will just have to go see the real thing."

Me: ". . ."

Taichō: "Why the hell aren't you saying anything?" (Or something to that effect, although it might have been his expression that said that)

Me: "Ano, I didn't think that required an answer. . ." (I might not have said that. . .)

Taichō: "You were supposed to ask me what I meant." (His face might have said this. . .)

Me: "Che, Taichō, whatever do you mean?"

Taichō: -laugh- "Let's go to dinner, Matsumoto."

Me: -gasp- "But, taichō—"

Taichō: "The work will wait. Let's go eat on the balcony of Kaze no Hime where we can watch the sunset."

At that point I mumbled something like "ok" or "I guess so" or "yes" and bolted. And now I am getting ready for whatever this is going to be with Mr. I One Upped Matsumoto Like Whoa.

Seriously. Why me?

My new autobiography:

Why I Hate Life, by Matsumoto Rangiku:

Hitsugaya Toshiro.

- *-* -

A/N: I hope to update this a lot sooner than last time, but I will need lots of encouragement! Expect Hitsugaya's viewpoint within the next couple chapters!

Love to my readers,

Conterra-hime


	3. Mr I Just One Upped Matsumoto Like Whoa

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the only bleach I own is the stuff I occasionally throw in the washer.

WARNING: A little AU in that this doesn't exactly follow the time-line and is set approximately a year after the end of the Soul Society Arc. Otherwise true to the manga.

FURTHER, CHAPTER SELECTIVE, WARNING: As indicated by the chapter title, this chapter will be considerably more serious than those previous and those to follow. Considerably, considerably more serious.

**Chapter 3**

**Mr. I Just One Upped**

**Matsumoto Like Whoa**

The air is cool and calm up on this balcony, and I breathe in deeply, glad that I can taste snow on the horizon. That's what I missed most in that gods-forsaken desert; there's barely enough moisture out there to constitute weather. I would breathe in, the dryness lying leaden and ashy on my tongue, and I could feel Hyourinmaru roaring for the cool expanses of the Northern Plains in Soul Society deep within my soul. Being stuck in Hueco Mundo for over six months was one of the most oppressive and yet strangely liberating experiences of my life.

I could barely breathe without feeling the heat attempting to leech my very soul from me. But I melted somehow in the desert, too. And then I was free.

I don't know if my body was finally ready for its last leap, or if it truly was the dismantling of the frozen state I had been in, but I was suddenly in the middle of a fantastic growth spurt. It was invigorating, because it gave me something to think about instead of the searing, omniscient heat. And it was liberating because my body was finally catching up with my mind.

The desert melded me, shaped me, and hardened me into something other than a frozen statue. I won't deny that that was all I was. I lived, and breathed, and fought, and nearly died for things I understood with a cold, hard calculating reason. When I was small, that is all there was, my wits and my skills, to keep me alive. I matched it with my temper, my frequent outbursts of pure emotion. I suppressed my fluctuating feelings into blocks of ice and they would shatter into a brief expression of emotion when the proper pressure was applied. When I was training, by the time I leaped to my captaincy, I had learned to form those emotions into larger and greater blocks that would take longer amounts of time and greater exertion to shatter.

However there were two people who I saved smaller blocks for, and they were Matsumoto and Hinamori. I would allow myself to fracture my emotions into tinier sections when around them so that I would be free to explode in smaller capacities when they pushed my buttons.

I had become an expert at utilizing my razor sharp mind with icy precision and frosted logic. And I had learned to manage my emotions.

And then I grew, and then I experienced heat, and then I had to reassess everything I knew about myself. Because I had experienced this kind of melting to a certain kind of degree before. But only with one person.

Matsumoto.

I learned that I must be willing to change freely, that I must be willing to shift and melt and reform to a more resilient, a more versatile and more utile being as the situation demands it. I learned that my emotions are as strong and as dangerous as my reason, that my iron will can still manage them, but I must learn to use them as well.

The desert taught me that. My new body taught me that. I have changed. But I am still Hitsugaya Toshiro, and I have only changed in that my emotions have now matured to match my unassailable mind, and I honed them to be as sharp as my judgment. I already trusted my intuition to some extent, by I now know how much more valuable it can be to me if I know how to use it properly. Hyourinmaru and I have become closer, have melded in ways I could not fathom before the inferno of the desert. We are stronger.

And so I am here, and I am finally ready. I am finally ready to face the consequences of the heat that affects me here, in the Soul Society, where I should be safe, where I should not have to face more than just the sun. But I have to face Matsumoto, and she is a type of desert heat all in herself.

I'm through trying to rationalize her, and I'm through trying to compartmentalize what I feel towards her. That's not how a man should deal with a woman.

I can already hear practically everyone's objections. She's older than me. So? We're past that point now. It doesn't matter anymore and it will matter even less in another decade or so. She was the most annoying thing that happened to me. Well, she was also the best thing that happened to me. I learned to loosen up, to take spontaneity in stride, and she is the one who told me that there was something real, something tangible beyond Rykongai.

She set me on the path that found me Hyourinmaru.

So I suppose I should have known that one day that path would bring me here. Not necessarily to this balcony, in Kaze no Hime, here, but at least here: wanting to start something new with Matsumoto Rangiku.

And I am pretty satisfied with the results so far.

Isn't this a bit sudden? You might ask. Possibly. But it really isn't. I had six months to really think about this. To notice the little things that reminded me of her. The sand, at times looking like the color of her hair, the sky, the color of her eyes. The heat all around me reminding me of her overbearing support, her cheerful brilliance. The sun beat a tattoo into my skull reminding me of how often she could annoy me, but how often she would bring me my favorite tea afterwards when I had taken in too much. How much I missed her presence beside me, behind me, as I stalked my prey.

There will be other questions. I think I have answers to all of them.

One. Why your lieutenant, Hitsugaya-taicho?

Is this really a question? Have you _met_ Matsumoto Rangiku? She is beautiful, brilliant, caring, honest, and funny. What more could you ask for in a woman?

Two. Why did you only realize this now, Hitsugaya-taicho?

Well, I didn't, not really. No sane, hot-blooded male can actually withstand Matsumoto whether she is meaning to attack said male or not.

The very first time I noticed Matsumoto is easy. When I became Captain Ten, there was a party thrown for me at the division, and she wanted to welcome me. She wanted to make sure that I would like her and that I would feel at home. She wore a pink and blue kimono, Nanao had done her hair, and I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

I have just been waiting for her to notice me, I suppose.

But then there will be Three. So you have felt something towards her for a long time then?

No. I was never good at dealing with my emotions. Before Hueco Mundo, I would not have been able to recognize what Matsumoto evoked within me, and I never considered more than friendship with her.

Four. But you said that every hot-blooded male notices Matsumoto. How did you cope with that?

Well, I could take that question two different ways. While I never considered more than a friendship with my lieutenant because anything else was completely foreign to my mind, I would experience brief moments in which I could not deny her attractive nature and undeniable charm. I attempted to limit these momentary lapses in concentration, but it was no use. As time went on, these brief flashes of emotion became more and more prominent. And I didn't like them or understand them.

Then I could tell you how I coped with other hot-blooded males noticing Matsumoto. Well. I never thought about it much at first because she is a strong woman and was able to handle herself. Then at one point I found her crying. I don't like reliving that night. A man had made my lieutenant, a woman who I had seen as vaguely terrifying and powerful, cry.

I was on my guard after that. I paid more attention. I was able to help her out of sticky situations when she needed me there. When I wasn't there, Gin was.

After awhile, the men did start to annoy me. I wasn't sure why, so I transformed my annoyance into my normal irritation, and growled at them just as I would growl at anyone else. And pretended that it was normal. Because what else could it be? I was being protective of my lieutenant, what was so wrong with that?

Five. Gin.

I am not even sure how this question would be presented or who would be brave enough to say his name. There might be whispers, of course. There might be vague allusions, accidental slips of the tongue, possibly even direct reference to him in passing. But I will face these head-on, for Matsumoto-fukataicho's sake.

Gin was a good friend to Matsumoto, and she loved him. It affected her deeply when he betrayed her, but she is healing. She hides how she still sometimes dwells on the past, but she can't fool me.

I never liked Gin much, but I trusted him with Matsumoto. That was all. And I will never be doing that again. I made sure my contact with him was minimal, because yes, when I saw him with her, something roared within my chest. And it wasn't pleasant, or rational, or necessary.

Gin didn't treat Matsumoto well, and he will pay for that in blood.

So, I think the questions will end right about there.

And I don't think anyone would have any more.

A/N: Hey y'all, it's been a while, lol. For some reason the end of this chapter was really holding me up, so I decided to split it in half! It was getting too long anyway. So look for some real, live, HitsuMatsu action from Hitsu's point of view coming next week! If I get enough reviews (say five) I will post the completion of Shiro-chan's thoughts next Monday!

Also, (shameless plug) if you are enjoying my writing, I would greatly appreciate it if you went and looked at The Seventh Year and dropped a review or two. It is my only Harry Potter fic, and it centers around some OCs so it isn't reaching a very wide audience. It is a fun read, I promise, and I actually update it twice a week (usually) because I wrote the entire thing in January for my roommate. Please just go check it out!

Love to my readers,

Conterra-hime


	4. Wake the Dragon From His Slumber

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the only bleach I own is the stuff I occasionally throw in the washer.

WARNING: A little AU in that this doesn't exactly follow the time-line and is set approximately a year after the end of the Soul Society Arc. Otherwise true to the manga.

FURTHER, CHAPTER SELECTIVE, WARNING: This is the second part of the previous chapter's musings and will be considerably more serious than those previous and those to follow. Considerably, considerably more serious.

**Chapter 4**

**The Dragon Begins to Rise**

**From Its Icy Slumber**

This only leaves my questions.

Will Matsumoto be able to see me for what I am now? Can I reform our relationship so that we are both happy? Is it possible for me to ease the passing of Gin, to replace him, or to take some part of Matsumoto that did not belong to him?

Why is my heart beating out of my chest?

I will not let her best me. She has had all the emotional control in our relationship in the past, whether she is aware of this or not.

I need to be in control of my own emotions, so that I can protect her. I will surrender myself willingly to her, but I must protect her at all costs. I thought that I was capable of this, but I was wrong. I was crushed when Gin hurt her, and I was again crushed when I could not protect her from the Arrancar.

But I will also need to learn how to let go.

I have grown stronger. I have grown stronger for her. And my trust in her has also strengthened. I will know when she needs to do something on her own, when I need to let her go and protect herself.

But I will also know when she needs me. And she needs me more than I realized, or more than I think she has realized, yet.

I know now that I want to protect her, more than anything, and I want her happiness, more than anything. I only hope that I can give this to her.

From what I saw on the way here, I am confident that I can.

I gave her enough time to change, and waited downstairs by my door. There is something strange about this door, like the souls that pass through it are reverent in their passing. Though I do not know why anyone beside me would be reverent, exactly. I also sensed something else when I came back, several nights ago. I had opened the door, and the still air of my office had swirled around me, cocooning me in a sense of home, and almost joyful for a new portal in and out of my sanctuary. I had an impression of long-awaited movement, of stillness, of emptiness. I realized that I still did not understand, so I questioned my lieutenant when she came downstairs.

"Matsumoto," I asked. "Why is it that there is so much dust at the edges of my door?"

Her expression had darkened uncharacteristically, but she said calmly, "I will have it seen to, taichō."

I looked at her silently, knowing she would explain if she was flustered. And usually a cool stare could make her flustered. "I only told them not to use it until you returned, but they must have been too afraid to even clean it. I suppose I may have scared them a little," she giggled a bit there, and I was almost too distracted to hear the rest of her explanation, "and I am sorry, taichō, I will make sure they clean it up for you right away."

I won't say I wasn't surprised. I didn't know that Matsumoto felt that strongly about my presence in the workplace. To reserve my entrance for use only when I am at home. . .that is a rare honor indeed. I understand the reverence now.

I was touched by Matsumoto's respect for me, and I was also cut to the quick by how her loneliness must stand out when my door is shut for months on end. It is there as a constant reminder that I am not home, that I am gone for an indefinite period of time.

So I merely nodded, not wanting to embarrass her, and offered her my arm. Her look of surprise was priceless. Normally the both of us would have walked sedately through the Seireitei, or would have flash stepped across the rooftops, but today I spun casually and took us directly to the plaza outside Kaze no Hime, a long-distance flash step that was no mean feat.

Matsumoto blinked, and then thanked me in a rather slow and thoughtful way. Very unlike her.

If I throw her just as off-balance as she can throw me, I will be grateful.

I requested the balcony, and my wishes were immediately fulfilled. Matsumoto was standing diligently and silently next to me, and I can't imagine what a pair we made. A beautiful woman in a lovely kimono, and an unfamiliar captain (I can only imagine their thoughts: I don't recognize him. . .although his hair is white. . .like Captain. . .oh, wait.) silently adjourning to the balcony of Kaze no Hime, where usually only noblemen frequented.

There were no questions, no snide remarks about my height, no confusion while being addressed authoritatively by so short a personage. I appreciated that.

We shall see where it goes from here. Tonight may be the turning point in my plans, if all goes as I hope. Like I said, so far, so good.

I pulled a chair out for my lieutenant, and glanced out over the Seireitei, judging that the sun would set in perhaps less than twenty minutes.

Matsumoto seemed a bit lost, so I ordered for her. She also seemed a bit speechless, so I had to coax at least a few words out of her.

"It seems as though you are actually caught up on your work for once, my fukataichō," I said, smiling.

This made her perk up a bit, because this was a safe subject, one she could engage in easily. She laughed. "Of course, taichō. I wouldn't leave so much for you after you had to melt in a desert for six months."

"What makes you think I would melt?" I asked steadily.

"Ano, Hyourinmaru is made of ice, taichō."

"Interesting point," I murmured. "Maybe I did melt, a little then."

She laughed again, and that sound made my heart feel like it had wings. How I had missed her laugh so. "You are so silly, taichō. Practically everyone melts in a desert."

"Even you, my lieutenant?" but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized that I had said something wrong. A memory stirred, like Hyourinmaru does after he has been sleeping for too long: slowly, and a bit too late.

Her brow darkened momentarily. "Not so easily anymore, taichō, because I learned my lesson. I almost died in a desert, a very, very long time ago."

"Yes," I remembered then, how Gin had saved her. I do not know why I know this story. I do not wish to know why I know this story. "That would teach you the lesson well."

Her brilliantly relieved smile made it ok, because she was glad that she did not have to explain herself. "I like deserts though, taichō. I would have gone to Hueco Mundo if you had let me."

"I know that, Matsumoto," but I wouldn't have let her. Absolutely not. The real world was one thing, Hueco Mundo. . . "But don't you remember what I told you?"

"'Just sit back down and do your damn work, Matsumoto?'" she said wryly.

I grimaced. "After that."

"'Good-bye, Ma—'"

"Before that!" I growled.

"Oh," she thought for a moment. "Was this the part I attempted to ignore because it was some nonsense about me being safe?"

I scowled at her and growled, "I _said_, 'I want to keep you safe, so you should stay here.'"

"That might have been it," she said thoughtfully. Although she might have just been mocking me.

"That's why you didn't come to Hueco Mundo, Matsumoto," I told her abruptly, hoping that my deep-set emotions would not betray me to color my voice now. "I will willingly put myself in danger if it means that you will not have to be subject."

Her eyes narrowed, and I could tell that she had caught my subtle hint. "What do you mean?"

"A much larger squad than just I, Kyoraku's Third, and Iemura from Fourth Company was originally selected. The General thought that you, Abarai, Madarame, and Ayasegawa could go on the mission with the two Third Seats. I went to Kuchiki-taicho, and we both agreed that we did not want you or Abarai going into Hueco Mundo unsupervised, as Abarai is too hot-head and you are dangerously close to the threshold of bankai. I told him I would go instead of you lot if he interceded for me with the General, and the next day Yamamato had mysteriously changed his mind."

Matsumoto's cheeks were suddenly flushed, but I wasn't sure why. Was she angry? Her spirit energy didn't feel angry. Was she embarrassed? She shouldn't be embarrassed—

"This has nothing to do with how capable I feel you are, Matsumoto," I said quietly. "I couldn't ask for a better lieutenant. You're loyal and caring and brave. You understand our people and take care of them like they were your family. You fight with everything you have and more, and I wouldn't want anyone else beside me—"

She jumped up, so I also rose, trying not to tower over her. My arms were suddenly full of Matusmoto, and it was all I could do to stay still, to not do something supremely foolish. I breathed in, and her heady scent of wood lilies and something I can never place washed over me. I slid an arm around her waist securely, using my other hand to smooth her hair.

She was shaking, and I thought that she might be crying, but I really hoped she wasn't. Her arms were wrapped around my waist securely, her face buried in my chest.

I thought then that maybe she was crying because she hadn't had someone really take care of her in a very long time. And she was trying to accept that I will do that. I am willing to take care of her now and forever, if she will let me.

I stroked her hair, reveling in its softness and marveling at how the setting sun had caught it and turned it into flames with its light.

"You'll always have me, my Matsumoto," I whispered. "I promise."

"Thank you," I heard her murmur, and I clasped her tighter in my arms. "Thank you for being so good to me."

"I've told you, Matsumoto," I said steadily. "You deserve to be treated well." Her scent was overwhelming me, causing my mind to fill with so many delicious images, images I should not have been seeing, not so soon, not when my plans were yet to be carefully executed.

"I wish you would have let me go with you," she said then, softly. "I missed you. So much."

"I missed you more than you can know," I whispered, and I dropped my lips to her temple, placing a small kiss there, but that was another mistake because the feel of her soft skin sent my mind reeling again. The dragon stirred within me, and I had to reign in on my feelings to keep myself from descending on her creamy neck like a vampire. Instead I pulled her head back so that I could look into her eyes.

She had been crying. I used the pad of my thumb to wipe away a tear. "There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you, Rangiku. Rest assured of that. Every moment was that much longer because you weren't there with me."

She was flushed again, and she tried to giggle. "Ano, taichō, I always told you that you'd miss little old me."

"Well, you were absolutely right," I growled, and I was struggling with myself, struggling to keep from brushing the rest of her hair from her eyes and capturing her lips with mine.

That was when the heat that she is not used to seeing present in my gaze must have unnerved her, because she pushed away and murmured something about going to wash her face.

So I am waiting on the balcony of Kaze no Hime, a place I could not have come to without a fight a mere six months ago, a place I would never have seen without Matsumoto's insistence once upon a time that one day I could become a shinigami.

I would wait here forever, the light of the setting sun preventing my snow from drifting down, if it meant finding Matsumoto.

It is so easy to be myself with her, and I hope she sees this. I hope she understands that I am genuinely and avidly concerned for her well being. I don't think she has grasped my determination as of yet, but I am determined.

Matsumoto is mine. Soon I will be able to show her this, and she'll see how easy it is rouse a dragon from its icy slumber to full-on passionate heat.

A/N: Oh, Hitsugaya, I love you. Very, very much. Thank you all for the kind reviews! Next chapter is a return to Matsumoto, and will involve the conclusion of this date and maybe something that follows?

Until then, loves!

Conterra-hime


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